


Idle Hands Aren't Always the Devil's

by MrsWhozeewhatsis (OxfordCommaLover)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Jealous Gabriel (Supernatural), Pranks and Practical Jokes, Prankster Gabriel, gabe is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 03:33:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17459828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OxfordCommaLover/pseuds/MrsWhozeewhatsis
Summary: Gabe is bored. Nothing good happens when Gabe is bored





	Idle Hands Aren't Always the Devil's

**Author's Note:**

> I added the Sam/Gabe/Rowena tag because, in a perfect world where I had plot bunnies galore for this, I could imagine it leading there. Right now, it's only there if you squint and read into subtext.
> 
> This is (SO LATE) for the @spnfanficpond‘s SPN Season 14 Weekly Episode Writing Challenge Week 7, and the prompt is in bold to prevent spoilers. Beta read by @katehuntington with an honorable mention to @littlegreenplasticsoldier who listened to me rant about this for way too long, and helped me with names, like she does. Both are fabulous, and you should be reading their stuff!

Gabriel twiddled his thumbs, then grabbed a pen and started making it do gymnastics over his fingers, letting it tap the table before and after each perfect twirl. He was up to sixty-four perfect twirls, looking forward to number sixty-nine for no particular reason, when Sam’s hand came down hard over his, stopping all movement. Gabe looked up at the moose, eyes innocently wide.

“If you aren’t going help, at least stop annoying those of us who are trying to work,” Sam growled.

“Hey, I offered all kinds of help, but you guys said I needed to rest and save up my grace for when we find Luci. I’m just doing what you told me to do,” Gabe snarked, giving his favorite Winchester a smile. Gabe loved messing with Sam Winchester. Sam was just so… earnest about everything. He had no sense of fun, and Gabe was fascinated by it. Fascinated to the point of wanting to figure out how to dismantle Sam’s seriousness so the man could relax and enjoy his life instead of just suffering through it.

Sam gave him what Gabe counted as bitchface #839 since the first one, which had happened shortly after Gabe had started talking again. Apparently, ‘porn stars’ was not what Sam considered appropriate first words after ten years of torture. And why not? Porn stars were awesome! Dean would agree. How had Dean raised this kid without imparting a love for porn stars?

Grabbing the pen from his hands, Sam set it on the table on the other side, away from Gabe, and resumed his reading.

Gabe looked across the table at Rowena, who was also studiously reading. Without Gabe’s mojo, they needed a location spell to find an archangel. Rowena had done it once before, but this time, it didn’t work. Lucifer had cloaked himself. Gabe was damn sure they wouldn’t find another spell and was surprised Rowena had managed to track Lucifer even the once. He thought he’d purged all knowledge about how to track archangels when he’d done his first disappearing act. But they insisted on looking. He could have told them they wouldn’t find it and why but watching them search had seemed far more interesting than it had turned out to be. Now that they’d been looking for a while, he knew if he mentioned it, they’d just be pissed, so he kept his mouth shut. After his intriguing fifteen minutes of pleasure with the witch, he didn’t want to risk them sending him away. He’d hoped for some more fun time with the redhead, but no. She was dutifully studying alongside Grouchy McMooseface.

Knowing that nothing good was going to happen while he sat there watching the two bookworms, Gabe got up and started wandering around the underground bunker. Surely, there was something worth getting into around this place?

In his wandering, he found Dean in the kitchen, various ingredients spread around the prep table. Looking everything over, he surmised, “Breakfast for dinner?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, it’s been a while since we’ve all be up at the same time in the morning to make it worthwhile to make pancakes or waffles or anything, and I’ve got a craving, so I figured why not? Pancakes, waffles, since they’re just pancakes put through a waffle iron, sausages, bacon, hash browns, and eggs for Sammy’s spinach and egg white omelet.” Dean shuddered comically at the thought of the healthy dish, making Gabe laugh.

As much as he loved pestering the humans, he also loved food, and breakfast food was the best of all the foods. Salty sausage and bacon with sweet maple syrup over the pancakes and fruit and whipped cream on the waffles. Add melty cheese to an omelet, and it was all perfection! Cooking with Dean was peaceful, and Gabe showed his uncommon appreciation for a quiet moment by teaching Dean some more complicated techniques and easy shortcuts to make everything better, no mojo required.

Together, they brought out platters of food to the library, placing everything in the middle of the table and displacing Sam’s books in the process. Bitchface #840 made an appearance. Rowena put one of her magical hands on one of Sam’s arms, taking a second to just enjoy the feel of it, Gabriel noticed, and gave Sam a look that somehow calmed him down. Gabriel was definitely not jealous, at all.

Dean plopped a plate in front of his brother that did not include the usual egg white omelet and announced proudly, “Pig in a poke, Sam! Ever heard it of it? It’s a thing of beauty! Sausage _inside_ a pancake!! Ain’t it beautiful?”

Cue bitchface #841. At this rate, he’d be in the low thousands by noon tomorrow.

Sam spied his healthiest-of-healthy plates across the table and switched out the one in front of him for his preferred version without a word. Gabe sighed. What would it take to make Sam lighten up?

When everyone was finished eating, Sam stood up to help clean up since Dean had cooked, and Gabe followed behind, thinking about soap suds in Sam’s hair. That would make him laugh, right? They got down to the business of cleaning, Gabe offering to do the wet work, so he could work on the soap suds. Sam brought over the last pile of dishes, setting them on the counter next to the sink, and then began cleaning them off into the trash can and handing them to Gabe.

The trickster saw the stain on Sam’s shirt and smiled. “Golly, Sam, did you eat your dinner or wear it? You’ve got some kind of mystery spot right… _here_ ,” he said, using a suds-covered hand to point at Sam’s chest.

As Sam looked down, Gabe tapped Sam on the chin, depositing a handful of suds on his face in the process. Sam sputtered, trying not to get the suds in his mouth, while Gabe giggled gleefully. A feminine giggle echoed his own from the doorway, and both men turned to see Rowena girlishly covering her mouth with her hand.

And there’s bitchface #842.

Again, Rowena kept Sam from blowing up at Gabe, which was no fun for anyone except Sam, Gabe suspected. She fawned over him, helping him wipe away the suds and offering to help him treat the stain with a centuries-old treatment she’d learned at her mother’s knee when she was ‘ _just a wee child’_. But they’d have to get that shirt off _right away_ , of course. Sam preened and blushed a bit under the attention while Gabe quietly retched into the sink of dishes behind their backs. If nothing else, at least Sam was smiling at Rowena, not that he’d wanted that.

Gabe finished the dishes alone, using a little ’angel grease’ to speed the process since no one was looking, and headed back out to the library in search of people to play with. Perhaps Rowena would be interested in a study break?

Sam, in a clean shirt, was scowling at the book in front of him, Rowena sitting across from him, her hand over his. “If it’s missing, we’ll just have to find it, that’s all, Samuel. We’ll keep looking! This won’t stop us!”

Dean was sitting in one of the wingback chairs in the corner, throwing back another glass of whiskey and frowning while Cas was standing next to one of the bookcases, book in hand like Sam’s revelation had interrupted his train of thought.

“What’s missing?” Gabe asked, flopping into the chair next to his favorite redhead.

Sam pushed the book in front of him towards Gabe. “According to this monk’s journal, they lost all their angel lore during a mysterious theft in the monastery, leaving only their inventory list, and it included an archangel tracking spell. So, now we know it exists, but we’re no closer to finding it because they never figured out who stole it!”

Gabe pretended he knew nothing about any of it and dutifully read the passage in the book, keeping his face neutral. He was going to have to figure out a solution to finding Lucifer before they realized he was the reason they couldn’t find Lucifer. He got down to work, pretending to read while he went over options in his mind.

Castiel sat down next to Sam and tried to cheer him up by talking about nerdish things relating to the search for an archangel tracking spell. There was mention of some of Lucifer’s grace being inside Cas, and Gabe took the opening when he saw it.

“Cassie! You didn’t tell me you let Lucifer touch your naughty bits! I had no idea you swung that way, bro!”

The way Castiel’s face fell told Gabe he’d really stepped in it, this time. Sam turned to Gabe, his face thunderous, and even Rowena backed away a little to get out of the blast radius. Dean got to him, first, though.

“Look, you, dick,” Dean growled, somehow in Gabe’s face, even though he’d been across the room a second before. “Cas doesn’t need to hear it from you, so just shut it.”

Gabe put his hands up in surrender and backed away. He turned to Castiel and tried to look contrite. “Sorry, Cassie. I don’t know the history and didn’t realize it was a sore spot.” Gabe tried to repress the words that followed, knowing they would anger Sam instead of lightening him up, but they spilled out, anyway. “You know, sometimes, **people say things in the heat of the moment,** and it just seemed like a good idea at the time, and apparently, it wasn’t.” He tried to repress the smile that wanted to erupt, but he didn’t quite manage it.

Sam stood up, knocking his chair over behind him with a loud clatter, startling everyone in the room except Gabriel. “You’re sorry? _Really?_ ” He began advancing on Gabriel, causing Gabriel to back up. The angel was still trying to keep a straight face because he knew how much trouble he was in at that moment. “Heat of the moment? Really, Gabriel??” Sam kept advancing, making Gabe stumble down the steps into the War Room. “First, ‘ _Pig in a Poke_ ’, then _‘mystery spot’_ , and now _‘heat of the moment’_?”

“What are you talking about, Sam?” Dean barked, but every other face in the room looked equally stumped.

Sam turned to his brother. “The Broward County Mystery Spot? Over a hundred Tuesdays?”

Dean’s face turned thunderous as he remembered, then got even darker as he realized how Gabriel had unwittingly used him as part of it.

Gabe tried to shrug and look as innocent as possible, but he felt the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “What? I was just teasin’ ya a little bit, trying to get you to lighten up! I didn’t mean anything by it!”

Sam made a noise that Gabe had never heard before, precisely one-half second before an angel blade hurtled across the room and lodged in his chest. It was Castiel’s blade, but Sam had definitely thrown it, and Gabe just looked down at his chest, shock making him speechless.

Well, mostly.

“You stabbed me!” Gabe cried. Staring down at the blade in his chest, kind of admiring the precision and skill used. If it had been something that could kill him, he’d be dead. “You actually stabbed me!”

Dean walked over to Gabe, chuckling under his breath, and pulled out the blade nonchalantly. “Oh, shut it, you dick. We all know it didn’t hurt you.” Dean tossed the blade back to Cas, who caught it deftly and slid it back into his coat. “Now, if you can’t help, maybe you should go find somewhere else to be until we need you, because none of this shit you’ve obviously been pulling is helping us find Lucifer.”

Feeling chastened, Gabe sighed, and his shoulders slumped. Apparently, getting Sam Winchester to pull the stick out of his ass was not gonna happen that day. At least, he still had Rowena to play with. “Alright. I’ll behave. In fact, I’ll do one better.” Gabe looked toward his petite amour. “A little one-on-one time with you and some healing spells, and maybe then I’ll be able to help your magic along a bit, so it breaks through Lucifer’s cloaking. How about it, Red? You up for some sexual healing, baby?” He waggled his eyebrows seductively, smiling when Rowena’s cheeks flushed beautifully.

Sam made a loud disbelieving noise and threw his hands in the air, letting them fall back to his sides with a slap. Rowena walked past him, giving him another one of those calming looks that did not make Gabe wince, and then took Gabe’s proffered arm.

Operation Loosen the Moose Caboose may have failed, but he still had a chance at making Casa Erotica 28: Witches Gone Wild!

 


End file.
